come as a surprise to discerning Nigerians and neither should we blame Mr. Shehu for the infantile lie.
You see,
once the decision had been reached at the highest levels to be less than
transparent about President Muhammadu Buhari's health situation, there was
really nothing much that his media aides could do.
If I was
Garba Shehu, what I would have said is that the President has a backlog of work
and so had to cancel FEC and focus fully on clearing this backlog from home! It
would not be a lie being that the President is always on call 24/7.
As a
Presidential spokesman, lying is the last thing you want to do. Your job is to
find creative, but not dishonest, ways to make the bitter truth palatable to
the general public. Lack of creativity is a greater liability to a Presidential
spokesman than lack of funds.
And the
remark itself (“Following the three months’ period of disuse, rodents have
caused a lot of damage to the furniture and the air conditioning units")
reminds me of the iconic movie, Of Mice and Men.
Of Mice and
Men is a 1937 book by John Steinbeck, which got made into a movie. It tells the
tale of of two California migrants workers who roam from town to town during
the Great Depression in search of greener pastures.
How fitting
that the lie told by Mr. Shehu should dovetail into Steinbeck's classic.
Just like in
Of Mice and Men, we have a migrant President who moves back and forth from
London to Abuja. And again like Steinbeck's classic, he does so in a
depression.
The only
difference is that while George Milton and Lennie Small were the victims of a
depression caused by others, President Muhammadu Buhari is not a victim but a
perpetrator of the fastest negative turnaround of an economy from the third
fastest growing economy in the world to an economy in recession.
There are
many other parallels one can draw from the movie and the comedy the Buhari
administration is unleashing on the nation, but one has to be careful in
drawing attention to them especially in these days that the military is
scouring social media for "anti-government and anti-military
information".
But I just
wonder how Garba could have said ?"Rodents have caused a lot of damage to
the President's office" with a straight face! Really Garba Shehu! There
should be limits to propaganda.
It is only
in Nigeria that "rodents" will chase a lion away from his den! Garba,
please you should be too decent for this, leave lies for Lai Mohammed! If
President Muhammadu Buhari is not strong enough to go to the office, simply say
the truth and shame the devil.
I have been
in the President of Nigeria's office. It is cleaned everyday. I also had an
office in the villa and I traveled abroad for a long period and nothing
happened to my office.
The
Presidency has projected President Buhari as an anti-corruption crusader with
strong integrity and credibility. Such infantile lies as this rat story
rubbishes that image! It also portrays the Buhari administration as a
government severely deficient in intelligence!
Almost every
international news agency carried the ridiculous story in a way that belittled
Nigeria. BBC, AFP, RFI and even China Xinhua News!
Worldwide
the Muhammadu Buhari administration has turned Nigeria into an international
joke because of an inept President and his inept aides!
I mean it is
just clear that the President still needs to recover and that he only returned
because the pressure from Charly Boy's #ReturnorResign group had become
unbearable, especially when they announced that they had gotten a permit from
the Metropolitan Police in London to protest outside Abuja House.
Of all
things to use as an excuse, it has to be rats! If you are wondering why the
rats in your city have reduced, wonder no more. They have all relocated to seek
greener pastures at Aso Rock!
But on a
serious note though, President Yar'adua left Nigeria on November 23, 2009 and
did not return until February 10, 2010. Thereafter he was at the Presidential
Villa until he died on May 5, 2010. For a period of 6 months, his office was vacant
until Dr. Goodluck Jonathan succeeded him. In all that time, rodents never
destroyed his office. Which just makes you wonder the type of rodents that
exist in Aso Rock under President Muhammadu Buhari the man who promised
Nigerians change but ended up giving those who voted him as President chains!
As for the
Nigerian military who will now monitor social media for "anti-government
information", I can only say what a lovely change! Did I hear you say
chains!
Can any
comment be more "anti-government" than this comment made by Buhari on
May 15, 2012 "by the grace of God, the dog and the baboon would all be
soaked in blood"? And can any comment be anti Nigerian than this comment
made by the same man on July 25, 2015 "The constituents, for example, gave
me 97% cannot in all honesty be treated on some issues with constituencies that
gave me 5%"?
So funny
when the father of hate speech and the king pin of anti-government talk now
wants to deal with those who have not even come close to doing what he has done!
And after
His misspeak on why the President had to work from home, ?Garba Shehu followed
up with a statement warning that the Presidency will henceforth not tolerate
harsh words being used on President Muhammadu Buhari and said "calling
Buhari an enemy of Nigeria was in extremely bad taste".
Is this not
the same Buhari that said on May 15, 2012 and I quote "the biggest Boko
Haram is the Federal Government.” Buhari called the government of Goodluck
Jonathan a Boko Haram government without providing proof and now complains
about being criticized! Mr. President, buy a mirror and arrest the person you
see in it as an example of your zero tolerance for "harsh words"!
These
shenanigans are annoying enough, but to add salt to injury, along comes Yahaya
Bello!
?To show how
useless governance has become under the APC, Yahaya Bello, a state Governor
declares a public holiday to celebrate President Muhammadu Buhari's return!
Now, I
sympathize with President Buhari, but aren't public holidays meant to be for
events pertaining to a nation's history? President Buhari has been a resident
of the U.K. for over a hundred days, has he ever known the U.K. to proclaim a
public holiday because the Queen returned from hospital?
Our army
killed at least 347 Shiite men, women, children and infants, our Air Force
killed 119 people at the Rann IDP camp in a mistaken bombing. We did not
declare any national mourning. Yet we declare a public holiday for Buhari's
return! This is the height of sycophancy!
Well, enough
about the Presidency's ineptitude and comedic behavior, let me change the mood
of this piece and enter second base.
Someone tell
Oby Ezekwesili that it is hypocritical to complain about a soup you helped cook
just because you were not given your share!
She was used
to bring down a good man and thereafter dumped and now she is bitter and she
wants to feign that she is one of us who are genuinely opposing a dictatorial
and clueless government for patriotic reasons!
Where are
her fellow #BringBackOurGirls colleagues? Are they not now holding very, very,
very juicy positions in President Muhammadu Buhari's government? She is a woman
scorned because her lover (APC) enjoyed her pleasures but refused to marry her.
Now she wants to use Nigerians to get her revenge! We are not that foolish!
Imagine Oby
Ezekwesili complaining of President Muhammadu Buhari's "missed
opportunity". She is one of those who helped him get the opportunity to
miss an opportunity!
It is an
insult to our sensibilities for this woman to start wailing like she is doing!
Has she forgotten when she was giving keynote speeches at All Progressive
Congress events where she demonized former President Jonathan and deified
Buhari by calling him a "discipline instilling" leader on March 7,
2014?
Did it occur
to her at that event that she was empowering the very person she is now
denouncing?
People like
Oby are like the bush rat that Chinua Achebe wrote about. They bite you and
blow breeze on your wounds so you won't know the damage they have caused. If
Oby wants to know who is responsible for bringing Buhari to power, I can buy
her a mirror. I assure her it won't be a pretty sight!
Oby
Ezekwesili is a sanctimonious hypocrite who likes to criticize but does not
like to be criticized. She once threatened to report me to then President
Jonathan when I responded to her criticism, as if Dr. Jonathan "gives a
damn" about her opinions! The sad thing is that everybody, but especially
her Southeastern kith and kin, knows she was used and dumped by people who know
only too well her real nature. I suspect that her bitterness is that she could
not attain the heights Ngozi Okonjo Iweala has attained and is still attaining.
Now she
continues to prance about giving subdued messages to the Buhari administration
because she knows that if she unleashes on them like she unleashed on Jonathan
she will be taught the difference between a democrat and a dictator! Oby, in
case you do not know, you are a figure of scorn in the Southeast zone where you
come from and considered a Quisling in the other zones of the federation.
Reno's
Nuggets
When you
make it, women will flock around you. Tantalizing as they are, don't forget the
one who was there before you made it-mum! The love of your life can't divorce
you, can't be separated from you and won't sue you. After God, your mother is
the love of your life. Finally, marrying a girl because of sex is like buying a
car because of its sound system. You will enjoy it, but you won't go anywhere
#RenosNuggets
Reno Omokri
is a Christian TV talk show host and founder of the Mind of Christ Christian
Center and the Helen and Bemigho Sanctuary for orphans. He is the author of the
worldwide amazon #1 bestseller (Conspiracy Theory) Facts Versus Fiction: The
True Story of the Jonathan Years: Chibok, 2015 and Other Conspiracies and three
books, Shunpiking: No Shortcuts to God, Why Jesus Wept and Apples of Gold: A
Book of Godly Wisdom.
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