open sketch.
With Alec
Baldwin taking the week off as President Trump and Melissa McCarthy’s Sean
Spicer nowhere in sight, it was left to Kate McKinnon to reprise her role as
Jeff Sessions from last month, beginning the show seated on a bench, offering
some chocolates to Leslie Jones.
“I am the
attorney general of the whole United States,” he bragged. “I got to meet the
president and everything. He shook my hand like this. Being in the government
is so fun.”
Yes, in SNL’s
world, Sessions is the new Forrest Gump. And he even has a best friend with no
legs: Kellyanne Conway. “We’re about as close as peas and carrots,” he said.
“She is the best talker you ever heard. They say she could sell stink to a
skunk. But they don’t let her talk no more. I miss you Kelly.”
“I always say,
life is like a box of chocolates,” he added, looking in the box. “Sure are a
whole lot of brown ones in there!”
“Yeah, I had a
bad week,” Sessions told the next man to sit down on his bench. “Started out
real good. The president made a great speech. Folks were thrilled on the
account of it was real word on a roll for a whole hour. We was all as happy as
a monkey with a peanut machine. Then I went to bed, I got 800 messages and
phone alerts, saying I was a sneaky little liar. I didn’t know what to do, so
my lawyer said, ‘Run, Jeffy, run!’ I started running, and running, and I ended
all the way sitting at this bus stop with you.”
Later, after a
shirtless Vladimir Putin sat down next to Sessions on the bench—“This meeting
never happened”—the night’s host Octavia Spencer showed up as her Oscar-winning
character from The Help. And just like in that movie, she had a very special
pie with Sessions’ name on it.
Source : thedailybeast
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